I've been writing about my pregnancy plans over at Being Pregnant. This pre-trying stage of weighing impossibly weighted questions, counting months in nines, getting physically and mentally prepared. Talking myself in circles until I'm back where I started, again and again.
For now it's just him. Singing to himself, playing by himself -- sharing adventures with a dark companion attached to his feet.
He searches the ground when it's hiding behind him. "I don't see my shadow," he'll say, squinting up at me.
He spots his shadow, invites him to play.
To explore, to learn. "Come with me, friend."
And it's in those moments that I know he's longing for a playmate. Not just a friend, but an extension of himself. Someone to share his shadows. Someone who won't disappear when the sun goes to sleep.
But for now it's just us. For now I'm that companion.